Broken Home
by Flash Foreward
Summary: This is a series of oneshots based around the episode Broken Home. Warnings: Spoilers from Broken Home, Man Down, and No Man's Land EricRyan Slash Implied.
1. Nightmares

**A/N:** This is going to be a series of one shots based around the Episode "Broken Home." Each one is going to be from a different character's perspective. This first one is Eric.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Nightmares**

"_Unfortunately, a super abundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares."  
- Sir Peter Ustinov-_

The nightmares are the worst. I can't be alone at night because of them. They're horrible. They're the hardest part of all this. I could deal with relearning everything, with taking things slow, if it weren't for the nightmares.

They started a few weeks after I got home. I woke up in the middle of the night, and the nightmare kept going. I had o get out of bed and turn on the television and the radio to get rid of the images and sounds.

That's when Ryan woke up. I was sitting on the couch, my eyes glued to the T.V., when I heard the floor creak behind me. I didn't move, I thought the nightmare was back.

"Eric?" his voice was soft, and I felt him slip his hand onto my shoulder. I started to calm down as he sat down next to me on the couch.

"I'm all right," I said, but my voice wouldn't rise above a whisper. Ryan wrapped his arms around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder. We both spent the night sleeping for a little while and then jerking awake, and I couldn't help but feel that it was my fault.

Every time I fell asleep, I would jerk awake, waking Ryan up with me. We kept drifting off to sleep, only to wake up a little while later. And we missed our alarm. Ryan woke up first that morning, and his movements shook me awake.

"We're late," he said. I swept my eyes to the clock and sighed. We didn't have time to shower or eat a real breakfast, and I felt the guilt rise in me.

"I'm sorry," I said, turning to look at Ryan. He placed a hand on my cheek and kissed my forehead.

"It's not your fault," he said.


	2. Five O'clock Shadow

**A/N: **I've sort of changed my mind about this... It's still a series of one shots, but it's going to alternate between Eric and Ryan, since they're the only two characters I can write without getting them out of character. Anyway, enjoy ch. 2!

**Disclaimer:** Not mine...

**Five O'clock Shadow**

_"When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him."  
-Euripides-_

Lack of sleep is a burden on me; it makes my O.C.D harder to control. It's not that I would have wanted to be anywhere but at Eric's side last night, I wouldn't. He needs me now. His entire life is crashing down around him, all because of a small piece of metal colliding with the side of his head, and if he were left alone to deal with this I'd worry more.

And worrying makes my O.C.D harder to control.

I'd rather be slightly worried with him in my arms and a sleepless night than very worried alone and asleep.

We woke up late, and Eric's eyes were so filled with guilt that I couldn't look at them. I kissed him on the forehead, assuring him that it wasn't his fault.

It wasn't.

I put the blame on the bastard who had pulled the trigger. After that bullet left the gun, there was nothing anyone could do to control the chain of events that followed. And that included Eric's nightmares.

And the short amount of time we had to get ready.

I remember the days when Eric would yell at me for taking so long getting dressed, making sure that everything was perfect. Changing my shirt if it was too wrinkled, all wonderful side effects of putting my clothes on before I take my medication.

But now, we take about the same amount of time, with Eric just a little bit faster. He's been getting back into the routines of life, but it's been hard. I don't think he remembered us moving in together at first, just like he didn't remember that Marisol had died.

Now we were both trying to rush through out morning, grabbing granola bars between brushing our teeth and putting our shoes on.

"What time is it?" I called out. Eric was in the Kitchen while I gathered my shaving supplies in the bathroom. I jumped as he suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"You don't have time to shave, Ryan," he said, an amused smile on his face. I sighed and returned my razor and shaving cream to the cabinet before following Eric out to the car.

This was going to be a long day.


	3. I Think I Can

**A/N:** This chapter is Eric's P.O.V again. Enjoy

**Disclaimer:** Not Mine

**I Think I Can**

_"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."  
- Henry Ford_

Going back to work after getting shot in the head means Alexx and Calleigh are on my back 24/7. Asking me if I'm okay, if I'm sure I'm ready to be back, if I'm sure I'm ready to do this or that. It's not that I don't appreciate their concern, but I could do without the constant questions about whether or not I'm ready.

I keep telling them that I can do it. Over and over I'm saying it, and I can feel that it's more for my benefit than it is for theirs.

It's not that I don't think I can do it. I know that I've done this before; it is my job, after all, but I think hearing their uncertainty makes my own uncertainty more prominent. Then all I have left is the mantra of 'I think I can, I think I can,' running over and over through my head.

I'm like The Little Engine That Could. That is, if The Little Engine That Could got a bullet in his brain and had to relearn the basics of being a train.

I decided I should test the babysitter's hands for blood, considering that everyone else has found something to do. The look on Ryan's face sends my uncertainty haywire. I start asking myself if I can do it before the question even leaves Ryan's mouth.

I give him a confident response, but I can still feel his worried eyes on me as I walk towards the house.

I think I can, I think I can.


	4. Ready

**A/N:**I've figured out how many chapters there are going to be :D. Anyway, this chapter is from Ryan's pov. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Not mine...

**Ready**

_"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready."  
- Henry David Thoreau_

Everyone else asks the questions I want to pose to Eric. They ask if he's ready, if he's sure he didn't come back to soon. I can see the fear that rises into his eyes for a split second every time someone asks him that, and it breaks my heart.

That's why I try to hold my tongue when he says he's going to test the babysitter for blood; but my mind is too sleep deprived to listen, and I say it anyway.

"You, um, you sure you're ready?"

"If I don't do this now, we risk loosing the evidence. Yeah, I'm ready."

I believe him. Or, I believe that he believes it, or wants to believe it. I'm still worried, though. I want to go with him, to help him. But I know he won't appreciate that. He has to get back into this; to prove to himself, as much as to us, that he can still do his job.

Still, I can't help but think of what will happen if he does make a mistake. It's not the case I'm worried about, it's him. I know he won't leave himself alone about it if he does. He'll constantly berate himself for coming back too early, for not doing his job right.

And he'll feel like he'll never be able to do it, like he'll have botched up his one chance to continue being a CSI.

It breaks my heart.


	5. Mistake

**A/N: **Not sure how I feel abour this chapter... Anyway, it's from Eric's POV.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Mistake**

_"If a man does his best, what else is there?"  
- General George S. Patton_

I came back too soon.

I put the entire case in jeopardy.

No matter what Calleigh says, no matter how much she tries to console me, I know. I came back too soon, and I made a mistake that put our whole case in danger of falling through. If I had waited a little longer, maybe I would have remembered to check my kit. To make sure that everything was in order.

But I didn't.

I made a dumb mistake instead.

I sat in the locker room after the end of shift, not really doing anything. I just stared at my locker, ignoring the comings and goings of my coworkers. Calleigh said hello, and I nodded in return as she left, but I didn't say anything. To anyone.

I didn't move until I felt Ryan's hand on my shoulder.

"It's not your fault," he whispers. He straddles the bench and wraps his arms around me. I lean my head against his chest, ignoring the part of me screaming that anyone could walk in and see us.

I need him right now.

"I came back to soon," I say. I feel him shake his head, then his lips brush against the top of my head.

"It's not your fault. It was an easy mistake, anyone could have made it," he says. He runs his hand up and down along my shoulder, but I pull away.

"We should head out," I say. I grab my stuff from my locker and leave; I can hear him following me.

We drive separately, we're not ready to explain our relationship to our coworkers, but I find myself wishing I had Ryan beside me; I need his calm to keep me calm. Without his confident voice relaying reassuring words to me, I find my thoughts running wild.

I made a stupid mistake.

I came back too soon.


	6. Breakfast in Bed

**A/N:** This is it folks, the last chapter. To make things different, this one's a third person narrative. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it.

**Breakfast in Bed**

_"Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them."  
-Rose Kennedy-_

The two men go through their night in almost complete silence. Their meal is eaten slowly, followed by a few hours of television. Finally, Ryan suggests they go to bed, and Eric simply nods.

They change their clothes, brush their teeth, and climb into the warmth of their bed. Ryan feels Eric's hand fall lightly on his arm and he looks into his lover's eyes.

"I love you," Eric whispers. Ryan smiles.

"I love you, too," he responds. He places a soft kiss on Eric's lips, then wraps his arms tightly around the other man's body. Eric snuggles his head into Ryan's chest and closes his eyes, silently praying that the events of the day won't plague him in his sleep.

Soon, their breathing slows and the two men fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms. They last through the night. No nightmares rouse them from their peaceful slumber. And when the morning light streams through the slits in the curtains, Ryan opens his eyes to find Eric's sleeping form still lying in his arms.

Slowly, Ryan extricates himself from his lover's embrace. He makes sure the other man is still asleep, and then sets to work preparing breakfast. When he hears the alarm go off, he returns to the bedroom with a tray in his hand. Eric's sleepy eyes blink at him.

"What's this?" Eric asks.

"You made it through the night," Ryan answers. Eric gives him a quizzical look.

"So?"

"So, I thought I'd reward you," Ryan sets the tray on the bed in front of Eric and climbs in next to him. Eric reaches for the silverware, a chuckle escaping his lips, but Ryan bats his hand away. Eric's quizzical look returns as Ryan lifts a piece of toast from the plate and lifts it to Eric's lips.

Eric smiles and takes a bite.

"Welcome back," Ryan whispers, pulling the toast away and replacing it with his own lips.

Eric tries to respond, but he finds a forkful of eggs waiting to be eaten and uses his mouth for that task instead. They finish the meal that way, a bite and then a kiss.

Finally, the tray is empty, and the two men reluctantly admit that they have to go to work soon. They go through their morning routine, and as Ryan draws his razor across his chin Eric laughs.

"You have time today," he says.


End file.
